“Mom, Where is Saumya?”, I asked as I entered into the house. “She is in her room son but why do you seem to be in haste”, she replied. Nothing Mom. It’s just I have got a surprise for her. I went inside the room. She was reading something.
“Saumya, come here I have something to show you”. I said.
“Hey Bro when did you come?” , she said and ran towards me. she was elated. I gave her a box decorated with coloured plastic.
“What is it?”, she asked. She was beaming with joy like a small child. I opened the box. It was a small aquarium having four coloured fishes. It was my sister’s 12th birthday and I knew how much she was interested in fishes. Every day she used to ask me about fishes. Sometimes it was too difficult to answer her questions. I had to search on Internet to answer his questions. Nevertheless, It was so much pleasure replying to her questions. My sister was the best thing I could have in my life. “We were to celebrate her birthday at night” and I had to make arrangements for that. Suddenly I heard a scream. It was my sister’s voice. I Ran towards her room. She was lying on floor unconscious. I and my mother took her to the nearest nursing home. After a few hours she was normal again. I asked doctor about her condition and he told me not to worry. We took her home. Days passed as usual but there was a marked change in her behaviour. She was less cheerful now. She had started confining herself into her rooms. She remained silent most of the times and It was me who always tried to cheer her. Most of the times she was irritated. She also started bunking classes. It seemed she was not interested in anything.
I was unable to understand what had happened to her. I Was perplexed in fact. I thought of helping her. But how? Finally we took her to a psychiatrist who told us that Saumya was suffering from Schizophrenia. It was a big shock for me and the family. We all loved her so much. How would she cope with it. This was the first question that came to my mind.
Her condition was deteriorating day by day and one day that happened which changed my life. She committed suicide! I don’t know What forced her to do so? . It was so painful. Perhaps, she couldn’t bear the stress and how could she! She was only fifteen when she did this. Ever one was weeping in the house. But, I was silent. My soul had been taken away and I was now just flesh. I was shattered from inside. I took refuge in alcohols and drugs. My mother carried herself somehow but I knew she was dying everyday. My father tried to convince me. But I know he had no more interest in life. We all had lost hope in life. One day when I was away, I don’t know where I was because I was drunk, my father shoot my mother and then himself. When I reached home, I saw a suicide letter again. It was jointly signed by my mother and father. Every reason for my existence was finished.
Today is 26th Jan 2010, Our 60th Republic day. I have decided I would drink less today. I don’t know how many more days I have in my life. But, I won’t suicide. I won’t let circumstances rule over me. I’m a strong man, very strong.
There was a loud noise. Neighbour rushed to my room to see what happened. I was lying on floor with a revolver in my hand and blood flowing everywhere. I was dead.
Perhaps, I was not as strong as I thought.
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