Ram............ Forrgive me if You Can

Ram and Anit were good froends.. Both of them liked each other. They had a very similar thinking. They wanted to do something for the society,  for the country where they were born. Ram used to say, “I would make my country a living paradise”. Shyam always nodded in agrrement. They went to the same school and again to the same college. Infact, they had to leave their hometown for study but they also lived together at the new place. Ram was a little aggressive kind while shyam was always cool. Whenever Ram engaged in any duel, It was shyam who controlled the things preventing the situation from getting blown out of proportion. But, one day Shyam left Ram. He went without saying anything. Ram searched him everywhere but couldn’t find him. Ram was very upset. A few days passed and one day he got a letter. It was addressed to him but nowhere the name of the sender written on it. He opened it and read. Tears fell from his eyes. He couldn’t stand up any furthur. He read the full letter numb. The letter was like.............

Dear Ram

You would be wondering who has sent you this letter. I won’t strain your mind and without any gusseses you should know It’s me, Shyam. I’m sure you would have been searching me frantically. But, you must stop because I’m far from your world. I’m at a different place. I left you because I couldn’t bear the pain your love brought to me. You were so caring. You were like an angel to me, protecting always from the adversities. I remembered when I was hurt playing football. It was you who looked after me all the time, preparing food, bringing books  and tendering me in all the possible ways one can. I cannot forget the anger you felt towards Raj, your cousin, when he had abused me. You wanted to hit him hard but stopped when I asked you to forgive him. How could someone be so nice in this world. I always wanted to be like you, free and joy loving. Your love to me was pure, unconditional free from any predisposition.

We shared all our joys, our sorrows and there was nothing that I didn’t know about you and the same you thought about me too. Still there is something I didn’t tell you. Infact, this is something I hid even from myself. Five years ago, My brother who was just a few years elder to me had passed away. He was suffering from brain tumer. You wouldn’t have forgotten the day when I had gone to my home after quarelling with you. You were surprised, why was I going home. You apologised several times but I didn’t care. I went. I know you consider yourself responsible for that. But, let me tell you, you were never the reason behind my decision. I went because my brother was living his last days. Doctors were exhausted treating him. I couldn’t stand to see my brother. I was crying like a new born.He was the most precious to me. How could god do such things! But, my brother was smiling. He said, “Bro, what if I would be dying in a few days. I would always be with you, in your heart, in your memories. He kissed my forehead. My brother was my life. God was preparing himself to take my life away. I asked ma to allow me to return. I told her, If I stay here I won’t be able to sustain the pain. I had returned after four days and you were so glad to see me back. You were almost weeping when you asked me to forgive. My brother died a few days after. But, I didn’t go to my house. I was happy with you. Your presence never let me think of my brother. You made me laugh, made me happy. I never felt the agony. But, my brother’s memories were inseparable. I wept when you were not around. I tried to forget everything associated with him but they kept coming back.I used to wake up in the dreams.

After a few years to my surprise my dreams stopped hounding me. I almost forgot my brother. It thought, I would be happy again like I used to be. But, Oh, god! You can’t be so cruel to me. It was the start of another misery, a tormenting ache in my soul. Oh! I forgot my brother because my heart accepted you as my brother. You took his place. I statred viewing you like him. Your care, your affection your everything to me was like my brother’s way. But, Ram I wanted to forget my brother. I wanted to move on and living with you never let me do so. Everyday, It brought me closer to my brother, closer than I could think. I’m a human and I couldn’t bear so much love. I had heard that too much love sometimes become unsurpassable. I never thought It could happen to me. I told my mom about you and she asked what did I want. I told her I wanted to forget my brother. I was weeping and she was too. I decided I must go home. I must take care of my mother, my fathert. I never thought how much painful It would have been for them to lose their young son.

I can’t fight with my destiny. Still, I can try. By the time you would be reading this letter, I would have already left my old home and shifted to a new place. Forgive me for what I did to you. I know I am your culprit. I’m a sinner but plaese do me one more favor. Never try to find me or try to contact me for any such attempt on your side will break the fragile determination that I have to look things beyond. I hope you will always be happy.

Yours Brother in diguise

Anit

Ram stood up and looked here and there. On the wall, there was a photograph of Anit. He smiled and said, “May god always keep you happy and help you find your peace”. He opened the door of his house and went to address his friends. It was his first speech after winning the college President’s election.