Miles away at a sylvan place,

Dying sparks evoke the fire of yore.

Left are smoldered embers

With winces of yesteryear galore.

Acquiescing to the curse of fate,

The wood endures the autumn’s fury, so do I.

Unrestrained has always been she in inflicting hurt

Like a blunt dagger inside the belly.

What is it with u, dopamine? Why don't u understand that you are essential along with serotonin for my constantly whining idiot-box a.k.a. brain. It now and then longs for you like a five year old does for toys.

Don't fix your poverty line the way Planning commission did. Also, believe me, you will never land yourself in a crisis similar to this unfortunate fella called 'water'. So, stop making fuss about "Save Dopamine Campaign."

Chill, relax and most importantly make your presence felt in my brain in fair amount and at opportune times.

#Blues

Inchoate dreams imperiously seek lucidity on nebulous trip.
Little they understand, “Consummation ain’t a worthy fish!”

At 06:00 PM, when I called it a day, I was little perplexed. I thought, "What have I done differently today?"

Surprisingly, this was just the beginning.

At home, friends had been waiting for me and within moments of my arrival, they started singing the lullaby, cheering me up for what I had accomplished many years back. Suddenly, I was being overwhelmed by their love & affection.

Thank you for being here today...

“The fatal Rendezvous”

En route to the destination sacrosanct,
The journey stumbles upon a sacrilegious path.

The journey asserts hope in holy,
But, the destination 'dusky' cuddles the path 'elite',
As if, the unholy Satan titillates in winter on beach.

The journey mourns the shattered Sabbath.
The ghosts are real now, the rendezvous fatal.

तब क्यूं ओठों ने गुस्ताख तेरा नाम 'मोहब्बत' रख डाला था?
कमबख्त आज भी हर 'इश्क' में तेरा ही नाम याद आता है !
कुछ लम्हें ही तो थे गुफ्तगू के, हम दोनों के दरम्यां,
क्यूं फिर हर लम्हे में सिर्फ तेरा एहसास याद आता है ?

लोग सच ही कहते हैं, "इश्क की संगत से इश्क हो जाता है ।"
हम बेपर्दा यूं ही नहीं हुए है आज वरना !

पर दोस्त, वो सिर्फ 'मोहब्बत' थी,
जो मैंने बारिश बन तेरी अँखियों से गिरती देखीं थी ।
उस दिन भी छिपाया था, आज भी छिपाते हो ।
पर चलो अब जान ही लो तुम ये बात,
मेरे शक का तुम पे राज,
कई महिनों पहले मिला था एक टुकड़ा कागज का,
तुम्हारे तकिये के पीछे ।
कुछ लिख रखा था उसपे धुंधला सा तुमने,
जैसे नहीं चाहते थे लिखना, पर रोक न सके दिल का कहना ।
हर हर्फ़ उसका था मोहब्बत का आरम्भ,
इश्क का माधुर्य, प्यार का बसंत ।
गिरे हुए थे तुम्हारे बिस्तर पे भी कई रंग,
एक ही तस्वीर उंकेरे ।
उस दिन भी तो तुम खुश थे कितना,
चाय की प्यालियों में मोहब्बत ढूंढकर |
पर दो रात नहीं थे सोये,
उसकी शादी तय होने की बात सुन |

दोस्त, इस 'इश्क' से तो बुत भी आशिक बन जाता ।
मैं फिर क्या कुछ कहने लायक हूँ !

Murmuring of Fickle Mind

I couldn’t tell then because I didn’t want to look desperate.

Now, many months have passed and the irony is, “I’m still looking for a chance. For these months, I have been yearning only for her.”

I have had endless conversations with me. A number of times, I have convinced myself that it was never supposed to happen.  But, every day, when the sunlight fades and the dusk embraces night, I remember the kohl in her eyes. And, the night gets darker, beautiful, and precious.

The infectious smile, the personal touch, the joyous attitude- Reminiscence abounds the heart as the gentle breeze blows though the spring of the past.

I know that the distance was bound to happen. The dream had to shatter. I know, “Ordinary people can’t live extra ordinarily”. But, so fast! I couldn’t even live those moments, and the separation happened.

Was it hard?  ‘Just impossible to bear’

Why now? Because she is even into my dreams now! I wake up remembering how she looked when I was enchanted by the contours of her face neatly drawn to perfection. Who could forget the vibe of her presence enthralling the audience?

There is never going to be anything better than those beautiful gone days.

It’s been six months since I last saw her. I need to go back to her. I have to say her, “I love you and I can’t live without you.”

In the meantime, somebody let me know when the next UPSC exam is.

#Bibliophile
#HisGeoPolScPubAd

"Draft"

Is this your final decision? Are we splitting up? I could sense pain and anger in Shweta’s voice at the same time. Persuasion was her innate quality. No one could avoid her charm, but today was a different story.

However, she was not going to easily give up. So, to distract her, I said, “We can still be together, but in a different way. You can shift to my place as a friend.”

“Are you out of your mind? What will people say? How will I face my family? Don’t ruin me, if you don’t have the balls to handle me.” She almost cried.

“Darling, accept me as I’m. I have been honest throughout. Hurting you has never been my intention. I love you and you love me. But, this is not sufficient for our marriage. What I’m offering you is a solution where we can both live happily.”

The conversation was getting more serious.

“Oh! You think that living together without marriage is the panacea.”, sarcasm was evident in every word she spoke, “People will brand me slut. My family will have no place to hide. Your family will also be persecuted. Your thinking, your words, your actions: all have become pathetic now.”

She was not going to relent.

It was time for me to drop my "Little Boy" & "Fat man" on her losing "Japanese" heart. “I’m not going to marry anyone else in future. You can live with me till the time you want. We will never make love, and I will get all these conditions documented through a legal contract whose violation could be challenged in a court of law."

What?...

#Let's see how this moves further.

I am fear,
The dreaded nemesis,
Prophesying time,
Wrapped in miseries and tears.

I am despair,
The doomed progeny of life,
Ugly and devilish,
The haunted sibling of bliss.

I am frailty,
Taciturn & meek,
Like a slave imbibing hurt,
In conditions bleak.

I am reality,
The annihilator of delusion,
The naked truth of existence,
The sublime provenance of death.

"Shashank"

"Shadow"

On a moonless night of intense spring,
I saw a shadow lurking behind the trees.
It was in search of a prey,
Eager to devour someone’s happy days

Now, I see that shadow everyday,
Roaming freely on streets and subways
Though, I’m still under eight,
Yet, it covets my innocent flesh.

The wise allege, “My gender tempts the shadow.”
In reality, their silence feeds it.

I’m not the cause of shadow
I’m only a victim of it.

'Shashank'

-------------------------------------------------------------
'The Blue Moon'

Behind two close eyes,
A flashback runs of moments worthwhile.
The moments are few and far between,
But, she has been in them times umpteen.

Ingratitude does not dampen her efficiency.
Negligence does not hold back her buoyancy.
I always remember earnestly!
Her sincere help in instances of adversity

She is definitely a god gifted boon.
Akin to once in a blue moon,
And, I can’t forget her.
Be it morning, evening or noon.

'Shashank'

When it rains

When it rains,

The wind blows whistle,

The soil begets fragrance.

The birds chirp happiness,

The trees shed colour.

When it rains,

Birth brings desire,

Death relieves pain.

Flesh longs youth,

Soul spectates.

I never ask, I never seek

Memories easily banish me.

But, when it rains,

A corner, somewhere, in my heart

It aches, cries & grieves wistfully

Only, for that moment, I become human again.

 

The earth longs for the cold.
The twilight bids adieu rays.
Lovely clouds kiss the darkness.
The mighty sun bemoans the distance.
The moon waits impatiently,
For now, it's her chance to acquire the gem.

"Time Pass"

Whenever Oxytocin driven neurons release Dopamine in mind,
O friend! Thy love becomes divine.
Distances vanish with passage of time
Keep trying, always,
Things will be absolutely fine.
You know I’m a big recluse
Still, you bank on my lines
Your rustic charm is sine qua non,
Spiced with emotions, Combined with lovely motions
Let her smell it, Let her feel it
I’m sure she will fall in line.

'अनुभूति'

हो रहा एहसास ये कैसा?
ये कैसी अनुभूति है ?
 मेरे हृदय पे प्रेम की,
बूंदे जब से बरसी हैं ।

मैं ठहरा नादान यहाँ पे,
तू भी तो अनजानी है ।
पर तेरे  लफ्जों के माधुर्य से
दुनिया मेरी मीठी है ।

उठता जब चर्चा महफ़िल में,
जब पूछते लोग तेरे बारे में,
मैं कहता हूँ, ऐ सुनो जमाना !
वो सिर्फ और सिर्फ मेरी अनुभूति है ।

'JOURNEY'

Numb air, serene sand, and soul in trance
Beaches, movies, and breathless songs
Renewed dreams enshrined in ephemeral joy
Reticent emotion kindled the moribund heart.

Perfidy, fear and adversity
Lessons in friendship, love and tenacity
Trust strengthened over game of cards
Groups expanded by meeting of hearts.

Gorgeous gardens, food, and pious Buddha in peace
Malls, food and angels at ease
Learning explored in open sky
Love felt, unexpressed, in hazy eyes.

Twelve days of spring and sunshine
This is the absolute journey of lifetime.

जरा-जरा लहराना और सिमट जाना,
बार-बार पलटकर यूँ आना,
समंदर तेरा मस्ताना बेबाकपन,
मुझको भी अब है पाना ।

आज आया हूँ पास तेरे मैं,
जानने तेरी अदाऒं को,
कोई मदहोश होता है कैसे,
देख तेरी फिजाऒं को |

मेरा भी कुछ ऐसा हो जाए,
जान मेरी हो तुझपे फना,
तेरे पानी के लहरों जैसी,
रहे मेरी दुनिय़ा जवां |

‘To be with you in this life’ ----------------------------------------------

‘To be with you in this life’
It is a dream I shall seek till I’m alive.
Without you, days are plain black & white,
With you, they are heaven & bright.

Only you are constant in life,
Rest changes with passage of time.
‘You & me together forever’
This thought has been my savior
I laugh, I rejoice, I weep in love
Yet never, this feels complete enough.

When I feel very weak & bare
I remember you in my prayer
How much I love, how little you care
‘Immaterial it is’, I admit here.

'Shashank'
----------------------------------------------

Just a Wishful Thinking

Trembling lips do not whisper sound,

Whenever they find you around

The heart seeks you in sublime,

Effecting divine ecstasy in mind

Though,

The priceless you are, the worthless I’m

The Goddess you are, the stupid I’m

And, there is no match for sure to be found

Still I ask, “Will you be my valentine!”